It’s been said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. In that case, my windows are like old-fashioned leaded glass. Sure, I can see through them, but everything’s kinda blurry, depending on how I tilt my head.
Actually, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. I can see. And with glasses, I mostly see 20/20. It’s actually past time to get my prescription renewed, since I find myself tilting my head back to read a book through the bottom-most portion of the of my bifocal lenses, but that’s not the whole problem. Let’s be honest, that’s not even half the problem lately.
I am a diabetic. I was diagnosed a little over 3 years ago, and I test my blood sugar 2-3 times a day and watch my carbs, protein and fat intake. I’m overweight. By a lot, actually, but it’s a vicious circle. When your blood sugar’s up, it’s hard to lose weight, but you can’t lower your blood sugar significantly without losing weight. But that’s a story for another time.
This story is about my eyes. Being a handworker – knitter, crocheter, spinner – and an avid reader, as well as required to use a computer for my day job, you could say my eyes are how I make my living as well as extremely vital to pursuing the hobbies I love. If I can’t see well, I can’t perform well either at work or at play. And according to my retina specialist, I don’t see so well.
I have a condition called diabetic retinopathy. Speaking in terms that I understand, it’s a leakage of fluid behind the retina of the eye due to weakened blood vessels. There are varying degrees of the condition and I have to be honest and tell you that I don’t know how severe mine is, just that it needs to be treated so I don’t lose my vision.
Yep. That’s what I said. “Lose my vision.” To prevent what would, for me, be an extreme tragedy, I have been getting injections into my eyes at approximately 6 – 8 week intervals to arrest the leakage. I know, you’re sitting there covering one eye, saying “OUCH!” or “Oh, my GOD!!” Yeah. It was that way for me at first, too. Now it’s (frighteningly) routine. I’m going in for the third injection in my left eye tomorrow. I’ve already had 3 in my right. The good news is that usually, the injections work. The bad news is that it doesn’t seem to be a permanent fix. And the scary thing is, the doctor keeps throwing around phrases like “while your vision is still good.”
Really? While it’s “still” good?? What constitutes NOT good? Am I going to go blind? Sooner or later? Is there a more aggressive treatment? Is there a “cure” at all?? These are things I can’t bring myself to ask, and we all know how reliable Dr. Google is.
What I do know is that while the injections stop the leakage, they don’t repair any damage already done. My vision a week ago was 20/20 with correction, but it’s deteriorating in my left eye. I know this – every time I go to the retina specialist, I have to read the eye chart, and it’s getting harder on the left side. That and I can “see” a blurry spot in my field of vision on that side. This is a result of the small bubble of fluid that’s built up on my retina that we hope to reduce with the next injection. It’s worked before, and I have confidence that it will work again. I just wish there was a way to stop the leakage altogether.
There are laser treatments that can be done to cauterize the blood vessels. But the doctor says that since the leakage is so close to my central vision, he doesn’t want to zap anything for fear of creating scar tissue that will impair the vision (I do have). I tend to agree. 20/20 with correction’s damned good, and I’d like to keep it that way as long as possible!
There are preventive measures I can take, but none of them guarantee that the leakage will stop. Lose weight. Keep my blood sugar and blood pressure down. I’m working on the weight, and my blood sugar and pressure have been “ideal” the past couple times they’ve been tested.
So I do what the retina specialist tells me so I can keep my eyesight for as long as possible. And if that means injections into the eye every 6-8 weeks, then that’s what it means.
The Flying Horses At 150 years old…
5 days ago


















































