What Sarah Said - Death Cab for Cutie

Listening to my iPod, and caught these lyrics from the song "What Sarah Said" by Death Cab for Cutie...and realized how terribly true it is. Not exactly uplifting.

It stung like a violent wind
That our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds.

Of course, the song's about hanging out in the ICU waiting room, so it's not expected to be uplifting. Thought provoking, yes. And that's what it's done - made me think a little.

The whole song is about losing someone you love. I know that feeling - been there, done that, wear the badge. Neither proudly nor visibly, but it's there, and those who know me know where to look. I want to say I admire those who, like the songwriter here, can take their grief and make it public, but I wonder, by the same token, does that diminish it or just re-open the wound each time you hear/play it? Like I'm sure many others I know do, when I'm feeling low, I listen to sad songs over and over again, or pick a slew of them and listen to them one after the other and it's like a purge. Like somehow, with the music flowing in, the pain flows out.

But it's not something you do once and it's done, you know? Or maybe for some it is. For me, it's not. Occasionally, even hearing one song that reminds me of someone I've lost can bring on the blues. I won't say it's painful every time, but it can be. But I welcome that pain. Because most of the memories are beautiful, and I need that beauty in my life.

But I also think the memories are like a salve - or your favorite blanket. You cover or wrap yourself in them, and it's good. Even though that person's gone, memories of them keep them part of your life. Not that they ever wouldn't be...but it brings them to the front every once and again, and I can't help but think that's a good thing. People who touch your life profoundly should never be forgotten, and music is just one of the ways I find to hold onto them.

And so there's my deep thought for the day...no idea where it came from. But there it is.